Tips for Teens on How to
Itís hard, especially when youíre a
teenager and bombarded with images of sexuality: that hot-looking scantily
clad guy or gal in the magazine, grinning at you and luring you; or the
persistent emphasis on sex in the movies (even Toy Story!); or the
pervasive links to pornography and ad banners that pop up while you may
simply be checking your e-mail or researching something for school. How
does a young Muslim protect him or herself from all of this? Below are
some tips that can help:
Tip 1. Know what is Halal (lawful) and whatís not
We may think only hard core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This
is not true. Improperly dressed men and women, sexual situations,
foreplay, kissing, touching, dirty jokes: none of these are Islamically
acceptable. Talk to a trusted Muslim friend, family member of the same
gender or an Imam about this. Bring it up and ask them to give you the
Tip 2. Remember your accountability to Allah
In America and some other countries, youíre fully responsible for your
actions when you turn 18. In Islam, youíre fully accountable as soon as
you understand these things. So that means that from that point onwards,
you cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will
testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. Remember that
Allah is always watching. He is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us
for the good and punishes us for the bad we do.
Tip 3. Become conscious of the Haram (unlawful)
Too often, itís easy to dismiss that billboard with the
spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in
tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it,
remember the Islamic perspective, your accountability to Allah, and lower
your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing
this, insha-Allah, itíll become a habit, and eventually an automatic
Tip 4. If feeling overwhelmed, remember Allah
In situations where you feel overwhelmed and canít get yourself to
switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from
the billboard, ask Allahís help. You donít necessarily need any heavy
duty, long Dua's. "La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah" (there is
no power or ability except with Allah) is short, simple, and reminds you
who is really in control and can help you out of this.
Tip 5. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan
Shaitan lured you into this mess. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying awthu/awoozoo
billahi minash Shaitan ir rajeem), will help you resist him and his
whisperings to continue looking at the material.
Tip 6. Get up and leave
If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave
the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet
is, or where youíve been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do
something to physically get out of the situation.
Tip 7. Avoid those involved in pornography
If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty
jokes etc. either help him or her change through gentle and sincere
advice, or abandon frequent contact with them. Their compulsion will
affect you, so itís best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering
the danger to yourself, your Deen, and your relationship with Allah.
Tip 8. Stay away from places where itís found
Sometimes itís on a billboard on a highway and you canít miss it. But
often times, youíll notice certain parts of your city (the seedier ones)
tend to be filled with this kind of material (where there are usually
strip joints, for example). Avoid these places as much as you can. If
itís on your way to school, try to change your route. Also, in summer,
stay away from the beach.
Tip 9. Surf or watch TV when others are around
The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe
is heightened when youíre alone in your room watching television or
surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and internet surfing.
Instead, watch or surf when others are around so you can resist the urge
to sneak a peek, thinking no oneís watching (and remember Allah is
always watching). It is a good idea not to have TV or computer in the
bedroom anyway. Living room or study room is a better place for this
Tip 10. Remember your example
If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example
youíre setting for them. What message will they get if they barge into
your room and catch you watching Baywatch or flipping through Playboy.
Tip 11. For brothers, remember your mom and sister
Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom
or sister the way many of us look at the Baywatch babes or the girls on
the internet or in magazines. Remember mom and your sister, and that
should sicken you enough to stop, insha-Allah.
Tip 12. Have someone watch over you
If you really feel youíre becoming addicted to this kind of material,
try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You donít have to
tell them why youíre doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in
check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material.
After all, Shaitan tempts us most easily when weíre alone. Sitting in
the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will insha Allah,
Tip 13. Fast
The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be
a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar
Tip 14. Do Tawba and return to Allah
If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His
forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to compensate
for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are sincere.
Tip 15. Repent again and fine yourself
If you lapse, do tawba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as long as we mean
it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising to yourself that
if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.
The message is that donít give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is
life. Shaitan could be creative. And with the help of Allah, you will be
the winner insha Allah.